So my website is the number 10 search result for 'painful anal screaming.' Ironically, the phrase is from a portion of my ex-boyfriend's LiveJournal that I pasted into an entry.

Tomorrow I return to Washington. I plan on having my hair cut, visiting the tanning salon, purchasing a jug of sangria and watching a DVD. The evening may or may not involve meeting a man from the Internet. And I say 'man' because he is 34-years-old. I don't want to think about it, therefore I don't want to write about it. I just want to improvise. The end.

I watched 'Full Frontal' last night. I related to Catherine Keener's character -- she felt that the world has been and always will be against her, and so she works herself to death without ever allowing herself to feel happy. I also watched 'Igby Goes Down' -- Claire Danes' character smokes cloves, and I thought that was really cool.

If only I could combine Catherine Keener with Claire Danes. But you're right, Agatha -- it's too bad these people don't exist in real life.