So my ex-boyfriend now has a LiveJournal in which he details his wild sex adventures with ethnic minorities in tanning salons, among other places. As of one month ago, he was a naive virgin. I am not sure how or when his perverted transubstantiation into a nymphomaniac transpired. All I know is that I'm slightly saddened by it all.

Is he reporting factual and unbiased documentations of his sexual escapades or merely refining his talent as a trashy romance novelist? Decide for yourself -- here are two excerpts:

'More screaming, crying, mumbling, humming, howling, purring, buzzing, groaning, panting, and other bustling sounds were invoked than could be heard at a burlesque hall. We did just about everything two strapping, energetic, sexual males with stamina could do, and we did these things multiple times. After we were both pleasured and satisfied, we showered, and did it all again...'

'Paco and I yesterday decided that fucking like bunnies on a bed, shortly beforehand covered in sweat, dead skin cells, and oils, was too clean and probably due to the subliminal programming of our patriarchal heterosexist world of purity, morality, and denial of self pleasure. In response, we went forward and let loose on the floor of this same vain establishment. We made out, undressed, sucked, pumped, fucked, licked, jerked, squeezed, rubbed, ate, played with, touched, bit, pulled, rolled, looked at, smelled, caressed, penetrated, massaged, aroused, and tainted, with, on, around, on top of, below, between, beside, aboard, about, above, across, after, against, and so on and so forth with all 70 some prepositions each other...'

Lovely. Just plain fucking lovely. Or dare I say, admirable, adorable, agreeable, alluring, amiable, attractive, beauteous, bewitching, captivating, charming, comely, dainty, delectable, delicate, delicious, delightful, dishy, drop-dead gorgeous, enchanting, engaging, engaging, enjoyable, exquisite, exquisite, fair, foxy, good-looking, graceful, gratifying, handsome, knockout, lovesome, mink, nice, nice, picture, pleasant, pleasing, pretty, pulchritudinous, rare, scrumptious, splendid, stunning, sweet, sweet, whistle bait, or winning.