I have been on the meat market since my senior year in high school. Some relationships have lasted longer than others, but I'd like to say that I am fairly experienced. In dating, that is. Perverts.

OK, so since I have been in a number of relationships, I know how to act in a relationship. You call the guy a lot. You IM him if he is online. You want to act interested, but not too interested. After all, there is nothing worse than an overbearing boyfriend.

So why is it that after one week of dating, my friends are posting away message shout-outs to their boys? I'm talking, 'Can't wait to see my baby!' and 'Miss you, hun!' and 'I love you!' Yes! I love you! After one week! It is really pissing me off. And the more it pisses me off, the more I feel like a cold, frigid bitch. A cold, frigid and single bitch.

Whatever. If you are lucky enough to be in a relationship, don't rub it in everyone's face. No one cares that you miss your pseudo-boyfriend of ten days. Especially not me. I swear to goddess, my next away message is going to be, 'I fucked your boyfriend tonight, I sure do miss him! Muah!'