Well, what do you know – a fellow schoolmate visited my site yesterday at 8:58 p.m.! Isn’t Site Meter incredible?

I love how this offends me – how I keep this website a secret from my friends and family, how I expect even a modicum of privacy – despite regularly besmirching the Internet with the sordid details of my irrelevant existence for all to see. You see, it is OK for hundreds of strangers to predicate their raison d’etre on my weblog – but for a personal contact to do the same? Unacceptable!

Whatever. You bastards are just jealous that I’m a “successful” “writer” who sinks hundreds of dollars a year simply to feed a contrived sense of celebrity. Of course I’m willing to sacrifice my reputation for Internet fame. Who wouldn’t?