It started innocently enough. My friend spiked the Diet Coke at the Honors Program BBQ yesterday afternoon, which loosened us up just enough to jump on the picnic table and play air-guitar to 'Monsters of Rock.' Truly, the buzz was both unexpected and unprovoked, seeing as to how it was 4 p.m. on a Wednesday.

Things took a turn for the worse, however, when my friend and I decided to get drinks at a nearby restaurant. Two Manhattans, a glass of white wine, and a Pilsner later -- let's just say I don't remember the walk back to campus.

Speaking of things I don't remember: vomiting in my garbage can at 8:30 p.m.; hiding said garbage can from my roommate; passing out half-naked, only to wake up at 2:30 in the morning, dazed and most definitely confused.

I also have two final exams today, which gives this story an extra twist. I spent the last seven hours cracked out on Adderall, struggling to memorize the neoliberal political history of Peru. Dry heaving during my Comparative Politics exam will truly be a highlight of this splendid day.