"As you'll see in our new E! Original Special, Revenge of the Celebrity Assistants, life as a celebrity gofer can be grueling, strange and even scary. ? "You become housekeeper, nanny, confidant, therapist," an insider tells E!, explaining that the demands on a personal assistant's time never end. Sharon Stone's former assistant, for example, lets us in on what it was like to have a 24-hour-a-day job every day of the year."
-E! Online

Described by close friends and bootlicking sycophants as "the Jackie Collins of the gay blogosphere," Toby of vividblurry dot com seeks to obtain a DEDICATED PERSONAL ASSISTANT -- one who shall function as the proverbial handrail that guides his perilous voyage towards Internet notoriety.

JOB DESCRIPTION:

-Manage home, property, weblog, and bar tab while Toby is away/intoxicated

-Schedule appointments, travel arrangements, and emotional meltdowns

-Act as liaison between Toby and liquor store

-Create Inspire original, dynamic content for vividblurry dot com

SKILLS/REQUIREMENTS:

-Aesthetically pleasing but comparatively unappealing when next to Toby

-Ability to anticipate whims

-Little to no self-respect

-Bartending experience a plus

The Assistant receives 104 PERSONAL DAYS a year. These personal days can alternately be referred to as 'Saturday' and 'Sunday.' SICK DAYS are permitted on an ad hoc basis. Please note: Any illness that warrants a 'sick day' but does not result in the immediate termination of The Assistant's life will undoubtedly result in the immediate termination of The Assistant's job.

Post resumes here. Legitimate applicants only, please (LiveJournal users need not apply).