Still not convinced "From Justin to Kelly" is an unsavory alternative to shitting shards of glass? Don't take my word for it...

The New York Times describes Kelly Clarkson as "pudding-faced" and says "there isn't a smidgen of romantic chemistry between the ersatz lovebirds," Justin and Kelly -- who he also refers to as "dutiful puppets". According to the critic, "the best that can be said of [Justin and Kelly] is that they don't embarrass themselves." Personally, I beg to differ.

Says the Washington Post: "[The movie] turns out to be industrial-strength insipidity diluted only marginally by bad music and worse dancing." (This time around, Kelly is described as "pudge-faced".) The critic must have really hated this movie, because he asks rhetorically: "Does anybody in the movie -- or the audience -- take this seriously? If so, get them professional help and make sure to lock up the guns, the alcohol and the car keys." Bravo!

"Relentlessly inoffensive, innocuous and vacuous," says the Los Angeles Times. Ouch. However, the critic does admit that "[Justin] Guarini's hair gives a fine performance."

And my favorite play-on-words? "From Justin to Kelly to video rental," courtesy Redlands Daily Facts.