A good way to alienate yourself from friends and family is to maintain a weblog. And it's important that this 'weblog' is a weblog in the loosest of terms.

For instance, refrain from writing actual content. Instead, churn out meaningless drivel that garners laughs from strangers but confuses and offends personal contacts. "Why is there a picture of you wearing sunglasses and a wifebeater?" your perplexed friends will ask. "And what's with the cigarette? You don't even smoke." Never mind these tedious inquiries! Your friends are simply experiencing the early pangs of alienation and withdrawal. And that's what you wanted all along, right?