Make a List, Check it Twice
[Editor's note: I apologize in advance for the stupidity of this entry.]
[Source: Washington Post, via Gawker]
1. Toby is currently wearing a blue stretch cotton shirt from J. Crew, a pair of black stretch cotton slacks from the Gap, martini-emblazoned boxer shorts from Banana Republic, a wife beater shirt from Hanes, black socks, and black shoes from Sketchers.
2. Toby spends more money each week on alcohol than groceries, dry cleaning, and tanning sessions combined.
3. Toby's favorite drink is an apple martini at Eighteenth Street Lounge. He hates Sambuca and pretends to like dark beer.
4. Toby does not have many gay friends.
5. Toby has a 3.6 (estimated) GPA. He is a junior majoring in Journalism and an interdisciplinary communications/government program.
6. Toby's boyfriend is visiting this weekend!
7. The CD currently in Toby's Discman is Britney Spears' 'Oops!... I Did It Again.' The CD in his laptop is 'Da Sound' by Da Buzz.
8. Toby goes to the gym three times a week, drinks a protein shake twice a day, and loves chicken.
9. Toby routinely makes fun of other bloggers and doesn't care.
10. Toby has a manicure scheduled for this Thursday at 6 p.m.
11. Incidentally, Toby often feels he is not 'gay' enough.
12. Contents of Toby's Coach (!) wallet: $23; New York driver license; Metro SmarTrip card; First Union check card; magnetic apartment pass.
13. Products in Toby's hair: Nolita Grit Gel.
14. Toby has not shaved in four days.
15. Toby promises to write actual content tomorrow, even though this list kicked the ass of Bassmaster magazine's "America's 35 Most Important Bass Waters."