I'm dripping with designer clothing today. Check out the Versace polo, the Diesel khakis, the Kenneth Cole loafers. On my hourly walk to the water cooler, I half-expect to be greeted by an explosion of flashbulbs. "Sashay, shante!" the press would shout. Unfortunately, the whir of the copy machine doesn't quite replicate the roar of my adoring public.

Anyway, I have the summer sale season to thank/blame for these recent purchases. In Georgetown yesterday afternoon, there were "50% off!" signs as far as my Prada-shaded eyes could see. But whatever -- I needed a new pair of sunglasses! And it needed to be Gucci.

You see, there is a fine line between what one "needs" and what one "wants." For example, a basic wardrobe would consist of such "needs" as socks, shoes, pants, t-shirts, sweaters and a coat. A more spiffy ensemble, however, might include a Gucci light blue chambray cotton point collar dress shirt and Dolce & Gabbana dark brown medium-wale corduroy jeans. We would file these items under "Wants."

But just as one wants what one needs, I can just as easily need what I want. I mean, I'm a world-famous celebrity blogger, right? I can afford to have discriminating tastes! Hell, I deserve to have discriminating tastes. And discriminating is something that I'm quite good at. If I look down upon the morbidly unattractive and obese with relentless scorn, then I can do the same with these fascist guidelines separating the essential from the gratuitous.

Rather than prattle endlessly about the "Wants" that I need, I'll summarize my desires to provide a context for the rest of this entry. Assuming that food, water, shelter and clothing are the bare essentials, let's just say I want to eat out every day for the rest of my life, drink Perrier (should something, er, stronger not be at my disposal), and reside in a Manhattan penthouse with my charming husband and sassy maid. As for clothing? I want to look as if Prada vomited all over me. I want, I want, I need.

Remainders: If I have a prescription filled at a pharmacy using my parent's health care plan, will a record of the prescription show up on their monthly health care bill? (I know nothing about health care plans. I'm not even sure if there is a monthly bill!) Also, I need to complete 30 hours of community service by July 11. Would anyone be willing to sign off these 30 hours for me? It is preferred that you work for a non-profit, but it is not necessary.

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