Drinking heavily seemed like an excellent idea last night. Well, to be fair, drinking heavily almost always seems like an excellent idea. But as I cower in my cubicle under the agonizing (and unflattering) florescent lights, I'm starting to think that "Consume alcohol" should have been struck from last night's itinerary.

I did not have time to shower this morning. My hair looks dull. My skin is oily. I have an excruciating headache. And I unknowingly put on my boxers inside-out. Oh! And I'm wearing wool pants! IN THE MIDDLE OF JUNE. This is what happens when you wake up late and are unable to make it to the dry cleaners to fetch your clean clothes.

This otherwise gruesome workday has been marginally improved by heavy rotation of Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent" on Winamp. Other songs that I've downloaded onto my office computer: "Heartbreaker" by Mariah Carey; "2 Become 1" by the Spice Girls; "Intuition" by Jewel; and the other Kelly Clarkson favorite, "A Moment Like This." I'm extremely paranoid that my headphones will suddenly unplug themselves, thus exposing my poor musical taste to the entire office as Mariah's "Fantasy" blasts out of the laptop's tinny speakers. Ah, shame; a cruel mistress you are.

Remainders: I've bought a bag of Peanut M&M's every day for the past week, and I still have not discovered the prize-winning package of all-gold candies. LIFE IS NOT FAIR.