◦ Webloggers that post a self-aggrandizing disclaimer that warns, "If you are easily offended, then I suggest you click the back button on your browser," as if their tedious, mainstream-intellectual ramblings have even a mild relationship with controversy.

◦ Webloggers that refer to themselves or others as "A-list", "B-list", or "C-list." There is no list, fuckers. "A-list" simply categorizes the community of pseudo-journalists that possess a modicum of skill but aren't good enough to be paid, and "B-list" is a euphemism for "I'm a talentless wannabe hack."

◦ Webloggers that write about weblogging. I'm guilty of this one, kids.

Hmm, I was going to continue with my rant, but then I realized how annoying rants are when they stem from individuals with no authority on the matter. My weblog sucks*, so I'm just going to shut up now...

I had to open a new jar of peanut butter this morning, and when I peeled off the foil seal, I remembered how my dad wouldn't deflower a fresh container of Skippy without first carving a heart into the virginal surface with the tip of a knife. One time, he forgot to carve the heart, and I got mad.

PS My mom is mad at me for wanting to wait tables next semester, just to make a little money on the side. She spun herself into such a fury that I half-suspected her of confusing my desire to work at a restaurant for a desire to quit school and pursue a career as "junkie street whore." My mom overreacts to everything, somebody get the woman a Xanax.

The work day is slow, so I'm going to disappear for three hours and see a movie up the street. Yesterday I saw L'Auberge Espagnole. Today I'm seeing Jet Lag. My boyfriend speaks French, so these films remind me of him. :)

I like how the quality of this entry descends into that of an unscripted, stream-of-drug-accelerated-consciousness LiveJournal. Reminds me of last summer, right?

*ironic self-deprecation alert!