So many things to talk about, so little time! Let's get started, darlings.

My day on Capitol Hill was pretty uneventful. Except for the fact that Donald Rumsfeld was somewhere in the building holding a press conference. As I was leaving for the day, I spotted a gaggle of suits and a few TV cameras, presumably near the committee room where the Secretary of War Mongering was speaking. Yea, it was pretty cool to be that close to the man, but let's be honest: I was more excited to hear that Betty White was standing outside of the Congressional cafeteria this morning. Awesome! Betty White RULES.

Moving on -- the other night, I got drunk and accidentally bid on a fake Dior cell phone strap on eBay. At first, I was pissed -- I mean, that's $12 (aka a nice box of burgundy wine) down the drain! But as the days passed, I became increasingly excited about my new tacky purchase. It arrived in the mail today, and it is more gaudy and unbecoming than I ever could have imagined!!

Shit, it even matches the color of my phone. DAYUM, I am gonna be the coolest fag on the block. OK, I gotta get back to werqq. Peace out, negroes.