The video for "Me Against the Music" takes place in what appears to be a really bad dance club with inexplicably themed rooms. A room filled with leaves? A room with an abandoned bed frame? A room with "urban" 1980s nostalgic graffiti sprayed onto wall? This is the last time James Joyce is allowed to design a sound stage. There is no place for extended metaphor and symbolism in music videos!

Britney and Madonna romp through the club, occasionally pausing to flagellate bystanders with her hair extentions or dazzle us with a predictable yoga pose, respectively. Britney looks hot, but her hairstyle is no different than those of former music videos. Yup, you guessed it -- a grungy platinum 'do scrunched together with an obvious weave. Someone should tell her to quit snapping her neck and flipping her hair at every opportunity -- she looks like she's having a seizure. Quick, someone get the girl a wooden spoon!

Anyway, the girls chase each other around, only to conclude their journey with a would-be kiss -- too bad Madonna disipates before Britney gets the chance to lock lips! Man, that would have been so scandalous. Can you imagine it? Two girls kissing! I can't think of anything more controversial. Except for maybe Britney giving Christina Aguilera head while Madonna pours goat's blood over their naked bodies. They're probably saving that for the Grammys.

All in all, the video is very disappointing. It appears Britney is through with ripping off Janet Jackson and Madonna, and is now ripping off herself. Dance moves from 'Crazy' + wardrobe from 'Overprotective' + vaguely Oriental set from 'Slave 4 U' + hair style and eyeliner from any Britney video ever = 'Me Against the Music.' How anticlimatic indeed.

Though the video sucks, it boosts her debut sales by a smidge, if only due to increased exposure. Have you guys seen the coverage she gets on CNN? Insane. Currently, I predict her debut sales at 500,000 -- up from 430,000.

Next time: Promotional materials for "In The Zone"!