Being such a well-adjusted individual and all, I've decided to start an advice column on this Web site. So if you'd like me to solve your pathetic problems, send me an email.

Also, start saving your pennies because I'm about to release my SECOND zine!! Lots of funny essays and pictures, y'all are gonna love it. But it's gonna cost ya -- $3, that is. In the meantime, I encourage you all to donate some cash via Paypal and Amazon since my bank account is smaller than Justin Timberlake's penis. Har har.