I would write about my Friday night, but to be honest, the shame of being documented with alcohol in the dorms for the fourth time is simply too much to admit to myself that it actually happened. Instead, I will wait until the letter from Judicial Affairs and Mediation Services arrives in my mailbox to deal with the very real, very scary threat of being expelled from the residence halls. Cheers to that!

Le sigh. You know, if I had just gone to New York as planned for the *namedrop alert* Fleshbot launch party, the unfortunate affair with an irate residential ass-istant would not have transpired. The bitch had clearly never seen the better side of Natural Ice 30-rack! (Of course, if I had not been participating in a beer-fueled Power Hour, the same logic applies, but I would sooner blame an external, unrelated coincidence than take responsibility for my own actions.) But anyway, as the kids say, hindsight is 20/20 -- unless, of course, you wake up after a night spent drowning in the devil's brew, still drunk. (Not that that has never not happened to me or anything.)

And we're moving on. Quickly.

Currently, I am toiling away the hours at my McInternship on Capitol Hill, where I've taken to catching up on school work and reading weblogs -- I mean, "Web logs" -- instead of drafting constituent letters and answering the phone. Whatever, if you think I'm lazy and unproductive, then fuck you! It's not as if I'm getting paid. (Please ignore the fact that collectively, this internship amounts to, like, $9,000 worth of college credits. Thank you.)

Some woman on CNN just said, "Her uterus is still intact." Cruel world -- if only I could say the same of my sanity.