Let's get this straight -- I wasn't in New York for a job interview, unless, of course, you are Michael Musto and consider "VH1 Sound Bite Whore" a legitimate occupation. (Oh, and let me just say that I would love to sit my ass down in front of a camera and elicit pithy commentary about celebrities for the rest of my life, but I don't think that gig comes with a decent health care package.)

Yea, so anyway. Some producers at VH1 are creating a show about music video cliches, and after reading my mildly amusing BritneyWatch entry, they offered to fly me to New York for an interview.

For about an hour, I prattled endlessly about Michael Jackson, Jessica Simpson and Joey Lawrence. (Yes, Joey Lawrence!) The producers laughed at almost everything I said, though I consider the possibility of them actually laughing at me as very likely.

If this show goes to air, I strongly doubt I will be included in the final cut. Though I suppose I was funny, I was also horrifyingly spastic. The woman kept reminding me to look directly at the interviewer -- and I would do just that for maybe 2 minutes before pausing and gesturing wildly to everyone else in the room to deliver a tangential sidebar about something completely NOT related to music videos. I'm blaming the Ritalin for that one.

Anyway, I'm not going to bore you with the details of my weekend, but I did have a nice dinner with Choire Sicha and a pretty wild night with my friend Matt at a bar called Apt. And though I did not, admittedly, spend most of my time in New York exposing my abs to anyone and everyone who wasn't legally blind (as some seem to believe), I took this special camshot for those that missed out: