Just what the Internet needed: a new Web log! But whatever, it's written by my good friend and fellow substance abuser, Shayna -- aka The Shank. You can read her irresponsibily candid musings here.

Anyway, now that I am a "model resident" who also happens to be on academic probation until May 2004, I've given up on dorm-style drinkin' lest I be documented with alcohol in the residence hall for the fifth time and be thrown out onto the streets. Sobriety has never seemed so unappealling -- and unlikely!

Since complete abstinence from the devil's brew is not an option -- or, at least an option that I am willing to consider -- I allow myself a cocktail or five in the company of a few dorm-ridden friends; all other rowdy routes to intoxication (i.e. beer pong, power hours, funnels, etc.) are reserved exclusively for off-campus locales. It's a shame that things have progessed to this point, but only I can accept the blame and procede to pin it on fascist resident assistants and other campus faculty in positions of dubious authority. Le sigh.

I swear I'm not a bad kid. Can't I blame past indiscretions on, like, being gay or something?