To the red-headed Nazi fuck in my American public policy class:

After overhearing a conversation in which you began a sentence with "I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but...", I stared at you for five uninterrupted minutes, contemplating your demise involving a perilous cliff and a wheelbarrow. I hope this made you uncomfortable.

By the way, on the rare occassion that you smile, it looks like you are intentionally pinching your face. And everyone in the class hates you.

xoxo Toby.