You know, I am not even sure where to start. With the malfunctioning MetroCard machines, perhaps? Or maybe with the city's less-than-visionary urban planning -- an enigmatic grid of streets and avenues! (Oh, where art the traffic circles and whimsical diagonals of The DC?)

No, no. In an age where New York's terror alert level is higher than yours truly on a Friday night, one must put into perspective life's benign inconveniences and reserve impatience and outrage for the condemnation of dark-skinned, anti-freedom minorities. Sure, the MetroCard machine refused to accept my dollar bills, but WE MUST NEVER FORGET TO REMEMBER 9/11!

Alas, this entry must come to an abrupt close, for I am feeling as creative as a syndicated hour of "King of Queens" on UPN. Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned!