When someone tells you he is from L.A., ask, “Which part?”

When someone tells you he is a sophomore at your university, ask, “What are you studying?”

When someone tells you he lives in a 2-bedroom apartment on U Street, ask, “Which building?”

When someone comes into your room with a laptop and says he is writing a paper, ask, “What’s the paper on?”

When someone says his grandmother died, ask, “I’m sorry to hear that — how old was she?”

And when someone says he models in New York, ask, “For what agency?”

Ask every question, and question every answer. Failing to do so may result in unintended relations with a 17-year-old runaway from West Virginia who preys upon the weak of mind and soft of heart.

Agatha and I were suspect of this kid from the start. Unfortunately, others succumbed to his charm — albeit a charm tainted by foul breath, an ugly face, and an even uglier personality. And even after the truth had been revealed, certain homos still associate themselves with him! This is beyond both my comprehension and my concern of all things fag.

Augh. He had been in my room. He had been on my bed. Disgusting. I’m lucky this rapscallion didn’t steal anything of value — though we all know what he had been really after: my heart.

LOL!

Addendum: The 17-year-old runaway IMed me this evening, seeking to defend his name. Enjoy:

XXXXX: Um for one thing yes i lied but im not homeless u bastard u dont know me.. i lied yes bbut i did it because ididnt think anyone would like me i just moved here ill be 18 in march 5 th so u know what either u take that off there or im after u....... trust me.. U dont know and im not discusting thanks
XXXXX: my age i asked people and they said they wouldnt of givin me a chance
XXXXX: so FUck u and ur writing
XXXXX: cause u dont know
XXXXX: me
XXXXX: i have money thanks