Hello, darlings! After a hectic week of midterms, double shifts at the restaurant, and back-to-back episodes of “Roseanne” at 2 a.m. on Nickelodeon, it’s time for me to pack my bags and head for the dunes. I’ll be at the beach this week with Agatha and company — Spring break! Yeah! Show us your boobs! So in the meantime, enjoy the hostile ramblings of a mysterious guest blogger. Bon voyage!