Let's play "Never Have I Ever," shall we?

Never have I ever given or received a "rim job." (Sorry, dear roommate, I'm afraid you're out of the game.)

Never have I ever had sex with a former Armani model. (Goodbye, Agatha.)

And lastly, never have I ever been so grateful for a cold, damp, overcast Monday afternoon!

You see, due to inclement and crotch-like weather conditions, not every server was needed for today's lunch shift. After I explained to him my case, the manager, being the kind and pliable person that he is, allowed me to go home, thereby granting me six more hours to write the 12-page paper that is due tomorrow at 8:30 a.m. The gods are truly smiling upon me. Let's hear it for polytheism, yo.