• A woman is searched, handcuffed and arrested for chewing within a Metro station. Damn, I wish Officer Cherrail Curry-Hagler had been around when I spotted a fellow passenger clipping his fingernails while on the Red Line earlier this week. Not only must I wear sunglasses when riding Metro (to avoid the lecherous stares of homeless bus riders) but a disposable hazmat suit, as well. Augh.

• My internship offered me a paid part-time position and I accepted, thus cementing the fact that I will do anything for $7 an hour. Well, almost anything.

• Stare at Ann Coulter long enough and you'll see William H. Macy. Stare at Ron Reagan long enough and you'll see… Ray Bolger? OK, whatever you say.

• And no, he hasn't called me yet.