I took that stupid relationship quiz, convinced I had done something wrong. All of my friends wound up with these sweeping, glowing assessments of their personality. Why am I the fucked up jealous one?

Well, I ended up with the same response, so I'm going to repost the response below — but with a few editorial omissions.

You are volatile, sexy and sexually driven. You're magnetic and fascinating ... . ... [When] you fall for someone you fall hard.

... [You] have excellent insight with your friends ... . Trust your friends!

... [You] are cute as hell.

Word Count of Edited Assessment: 41
Word Count of Actual Assessment: 213