After awaking at 6 a.m. to the tune of an incomplete homework assignment, I embarked on a three-hour crusade to finish a 1,000-word essay on campaign finance law before my 10 a.m. class. The sad thing is that I'll probably get a better grade than many of the students who spent the last two weeks working on it.

You know, I'm prouder to receive an A- on an assigment I shit out an hour before class than an A on something into which I put considerable effort. It only makes sense. Why strive to be the very best when the standards set by your peers are already so low?

To paraphrase Jerri Blank: If you're going to reach for the stars, grab the lowest one you can.