Like menthol cigarettes and dark-skinned minorities, raw eggs are not as dangerous as everyone thinks. They are inexpensive, high in protein, easy to consume, and relatively harmless, if not entirely healthy.

Consider that only one in every 30,000 eggs carries the Salmonella bacteria. The risk of Salmonella exposure is even smaller in organic eggs.

So, what happens if you eat an infected egg? You'll suffer from diarrhea and abdominal cramps 12 to 72 hours later. When untreated, the illness goes away within a week. If you are a slut like me, discomfort in one's midsection is by now routine, so chancing it with a raw egg should be no cause for alarm.

Raw eggs are an excellent (Or, dare I say, egg-celent?) source of protein for those hitting the gym with the intention to bulk up. One egg is packed with eight grams of protein. Toss four into a blender, and it's as if you've eaten a 3.5 ounce steak. That steak could have cost you $20 in a restaurant, whereas four eggs are just a fraction of a dollar!

Unfortunately, raw eggs are not very tasty. Sure, you could scramble them, but that takes time. This is where your blender comes into play. I asked for your favorite raw egg protein shakes a few days ago, and here are the best suggestions. My personal recipe is at the end.

For the fit alcoholic:

6 ice cubes
4 eggs
3 scoops of vanilla protein
1 scoop of chocolate protein
2 shots of Kahlua
1 tsp. of vanilla extract
1 banana for texture (optional)

Fill the blender half way with whole milk (or soy if you prefer). Don't use weight gainer; that shit will pork you.

The inclusion of Kahlua intrigues me, but not enough to give this recipe a try. Bananas are disgusting, and this shake has too many ingredients for it to be practical. Remember, guys: I'm lazy!

For the white supremacist:

1 whole egg
3-4 egg whites
2-3 tbls skim milk powder
1 cup cream

Blend it all with a stick mixer or a blender. Some people add sugar to taste.

Mmm, eggs mixed with milk. Sugar is probably a good idea for this one. Skim milk powder is a good alternative to protein powder in that it's high in protein and much cheaper. Still, the idea of using whole cream is a bit disconcerting. Remember my intolerance to lactose products?

Here's my recipe. It's easy, high in protein and surprisingly tasty — resembles a McDonald's vanilla milkshake in color, texture and taste.

3 eggs
3-4 scoops of Breyer's vanilla ice cream
Some whole milk

Put it all in a blender and enjoy. Less milk will result in a very thick shake; more milk will result in a thinner shake that can be easily consumed through a straw. Total amount of protein: Between 30 and 40 grams!

I drink this shake every night. This is in addition to the protein powder shake I consume after my morning workout. Factor in the fuckload of chicken I eat, and that's just over 150 grams of protein in a single day — one gram for every pound I weigh.

Any other tips for packing in the protein? Let me know!