I would just like to say that our neighbors are really fucking ugly and it's disgusting that two people as ugly as they are can stay together as a sexually active couple and that they are huge losers who feel the need to call the police on a Saturday night at 10:30 p.m. to alert the authorities that we are being "loud" and playing '90s music and that they can fuck themselves because for the next few months they will have to tolerate our zaniness because ugly people don't have rights, especially ugly people who are balding and have fat girlfriends.

I played Mr. Nice Guy the last time they bitched to us about playing Ginuwine's "Pony" too loudly — sorry, but can you really play "Pony" too loudly?? — but now I'm cranking up the bizzase and blasting Ashlee all the live long day.