I'm at home on our suburban New York ranch, watching "Oprah" with my mother. In the last 50 minutes, I've had to explain to my mother why Meg Ryan's lips are so weird looking, why Priscilla Presley's cheeks are so big, and why black women get weaves ("Oh my gawsh, they sew hair into your scalp?!").

And oh my gawsh, and I just saw the funniest, most ridiculous commercial featuring Sam Champion. I love him, and I love being home!