Last rant of the week, I swear
I'm a little new to Tivo, so I still haven't figured out how to group my "Now Playing" programs into folders or why the hell it's been recording "Good Times" for the past three weeks. (The only channels I watch are Food Network, Comedy Central and occasionally Court TV, when "Cops" is on. Perhaps I've cracked the "Tivo Recommends" algorithm: The domesticity of Food Network + the hilarity of Comedy Central + the vaguely racist undertones of "Cops" = "Good Times"?)
In addition to those things, it seems that whenever I'm watching a pre-recorded episode of "Everyday Italian" or whatever, I always forget that it's pre-recorded - so half the time, I sit through all of the commercials anyway. Yes, I'm retarded, but lucky for you, my inability to use Tivo has allowed me to notice the fucked up commercial below.
Check it out for yourself - do you see anything unusual about this screen capture?
No? Let's look a little closer.
Jesus Christ, the poor kid is wearing a kabbalah bracelet! Like, for no apparent reason, a child actor is casually wearing a kabbalah bracelet in a commercial. "A commercial for what?" you ask. Let's find out now.
I can't even believe this. It's a commercial for finger paints! Now, it's one thing for, let's say, a male porn actor to wear a kabbalah bracelet in a film. (Yes, I've seen this more times than I'd care to admit.) I can't respect the act of having sex for money just as I can't respect fake religions, so that doesn't really bother me. But kabbalah bracelets in a Crayola commercial? I'm sorry, but no. There must be some rule that the $80 piece of thread must stay on your wrist at all times, but shame on whatever stage mom forced her child into the glorified Madonna fan club that is kabbalah.
(By the by, I'm talking kabbalah here, not Kabbalah. I just think it's embarrassing when people buy a red string and go to a kabbalah class because Madonna told them to and call that "faith." Then again, most faiths are kinda silly, so who's counting.)
Anyway, I'd like to conclude with Part 98,570,345 in a frustratingly endless series, "Metro is Proof that God Hates Me." Behold the image I captured yesterday morning during my commute to work:
Three buses on the same route, lined up like ducks in a row. Sure, these buses are supposed to arrive 10 minutes apart from each other, but why bother with timetables and bus schedules when dispatching them all at the same time is so much EASIER?
Fucking bus drivers. I wish I had a job where I could routinely show up 20 minutes late (or not at all!) and not be fired the next day.
Comments
allright, you win, metro BLOWS ;)
Posted by: Dan | November 17, 2005 12:17 PM
Tivo: Just wait till you try to rewind the radio.
String: Is there seriously no other explanation for that string? If not, hmmm...
Actually, would it piss you off as much if Mad didn't preach it up so much?
(Man, Madonna, way to turn a centries old esoteric form of Judaism into a joke. Seriously.)
Metro: OK, I've seen 2 Boston T Busses in a row on rare occasion, but 3?!? Damn, steam would be coming out of my ears. I'm so sorry for you.
Posted by: Atari_age | November 17, 2005 12:30 PM
My tivo's constantly trying to record 'clean this house' and 'what not to wear' ... never thought i'd be offended by an overpriced VCR, but there ya go.
Posted by: Dan | November 17, 2005 01:20 PM
The bracelets are only $1 in Israel.
Posted by: Bueller | November 17, 2005 01:37 PM
In my mind, what is fucked-up/unusual about this advert is obviously the fact that it put the Kabbalah bracelet on the wrist, and the colour crayons in the hands, of... a miniature version of Toby Halliwell!
Argh!
Are we currently experiencing a déjà-vu? Or is this just a home made video from the late 1980's, which Tobys' dad shamelessly sold to crayola in order to make millions off his sons' e-popularity?
What next, will they hand that poor child a can of beer?
Have people no shame?
Posted by: MrM. | November 17, 2005 03:35 PM
The bad thing about Court TV is when I see a guy I think is hot, he's usually the one who turns out to be the serial killer.
Yes, I remain single...it seems like the smart thing to do.
Posted by: Brenda | November 17, 2005 04:25 PM
the only way that gets better is if the song playing in the background is "faith" but with the words changed to lyrics about finger painting.
in the words of mcdonalds: i'm loving it.
Posted by: michael | November 17, 2005 05:29 PM
Did you notice that he's using fingerpaints on a pristine white carpet? What mother would allow that?
Posted by: Steve | November 17, 2005 06:56 PM
Toby, you are obviously suffering from a case of bad Metro karma.
You must have no bad thoughts about the Metro. You must believe in the Metro. You must have faith in the Metro.
You must stand on the corner and pray to the Metro: There is a bus a'comin.
And one of these old days your bus will come. On time.
That's what I used to do, till I started driving to work. Now I use parking karma, and it works much the same. I BELIEVE I will find a good parking space, and invariably I do.
Posted by: richwhiteboy | November 17, 2005 07:31 PM
At least your Tivo hasn't started recording Semi Ho-Made Meals.
Posted by: Rachael Ray | November 17, 2005 11:18 PM
it was a white bracelet until he got those crappy fingerpaints all over it.
Posted by: avi | November 17, 2005 11:38 PM
I see Metro has hired old MUNI drivers. It's maddening, isn't it?
Posted by: chad | November 18, 2005 12:19 PM
Nice website.
Posted by: Wannabeleader | November 18, 2005 01:54 PM
that is both hilarious and sad.
Posted by: j. | November 18, 2005 06:41 PM
I just saw this Crayola ad! Did you notice that a giant pig walks through the background? That is soooo not kosher...
Posted by: daniel | November 18, 2005 10:11 PM
Is that kid a girl or a boy? It looks like a young dyke or a boy in the first pic, and a definite girl in the second.
And what's up with not respecting people who have sex for money? Do you respect people who pick up garbage for a living? Those who serve food at Taco Bell? How about those who edit newspapers? Or the people who use their little talent to become pop stars? What's the difference?
Posted by: Tonya Shingles | November 18, 2005 10:22 PM
Funny, I thought the boy was a little Toby too.
Posted by: Bart | November 19, 2005 02:21 AM
Like the redesign -- want to see some pics of you, though.
Posted by: matt | November 19, 2005 12:01 PM
What I want to know is how Toby is so familiar with the Kabbalah.
Posted by: Bla | November 20, 2005 12:17 PM
you bitches need to leave the jokes to toby... these comments are painful.
Posted by: Bad Comments | November 20, 2005 12:25 PM
the finger paints and the white carpet ... that's the point. the paints are magic, they only show up on paper.
Posted by: PaintExpert | November 20, 2005 12:40 PM
The braclet is on he wrong wrist for Kabbalah. It should be on the left wrist.............so lets call it fakeabbalah
Posted by: James | November 22, 2005 11:12 PM