Thanks a lot - no, really!
It's 1 a.m. and I'm sitting in my childhood bedroom alone. Yes, you read correctly. Sitting, not drinking. This is no small miracle, mind you. In fact, it is no miracle at all. I'm just really stoned from the two Tylenol PM Vanilla Caplets I swallowed. I'm not sure who decided to coat Tylenol PM in vanilla flavoring, but I hope this fine gentleman makes a cameo in one of the many fucked up dreams I'll undoubtedly be having tonight. Thanks, Tylenol PM!
In any event, I managed to survive the time-honored charade that is Thanksgiving at my parents' house. It's funny how easily one can confuse family dysfunction for tradition. But I suppose the passive aggression between my mother and grandmother is the price to pay for truly awesome Italian food.
I'd elaborate, but I make it a point to not discuss family and friends on my blog. I have to save something for the memoirs, right?
Anyway, for propensity's sake, I'd like to list a few things that I am thankful for this year. No hard feelings if you don't make the cut, okay?
1. Tylenol PM Vanilla Caplets. A preferred alternative to staring silently at the ceiling of your childhood bedroom, paralyzed by harrowing reminiscence.
2. My grandmother's marinara recipe. I make it every weekend and have at this point committed it to memory.
3. Tivo. I never miss an episode of "Everyday Italian," "Oprah" or "Cops."
4. New friends, Gentleman or otherwise. I will try very hard not to alienate any of them this time.
5. My blog. I hope to one day publish a book, so you've no idea how awesome it is to practice my writing in front of hundreds of people every day.
6. Boxed wine. Five liters of spiggot-born goodness, packed to the brim with 11.5 percent alcohol. All of this for just $7.99! At least you can say I'm not an elitist.
7. My awesome roommate and apartment. Our friendship and hardwood floors have endured a lot, but they'll certainly last for years to come.
8. The jeans I bought at Filene's Basement the other day. Now I have two pairs that fit!
9. My doctor. But if tomorrow I find you still haven't called in my prescription refill to the CVS near my parents' house, you are off the list, pal.
10. Sense of self and peace of mind. You might say this has only to do with No. 9, but I'd like to attribute it in some fashion to all of the above.
Okay, time for bed - there is no arguing with Tylenol PM. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!
Comments
They're making Tylenol PM in flavors now? *runs to store*
Posted by: Paula Deen | November 25, 2005 01:54 AM
Hey I'm glad for you. Concentrate on number 4 if you can. If there's any solid friends in there, their support will be priceless. Number 9 alone won't give you number 10, it'll only help things be a bit easier. Number 6 is the traditional way to cope: my aunt was never drunk but always had a glass of wine in her hand, sipping.
"I missed my credit card payment. (sip) Why is my husband never home until 4am? (sip)". I'm not at the econo-box stage, but I've been there.
Anyway, whatever happens hold tight. And I'm almost scared to think what you'll write in a book. But it'll be well written.
Posted by: Atari_Age | November 25, 2005 09:20 AM
Put it in the sauce!
Posted by: Jamie | November 25, 2005 04:25 PM
A book would be great. I wonder how well the talking icons would transfer to a book? They could provide running commentary at the end of each chapter.
Posted by: Brenda | November 25, 2005 04:37 PM
Thank you for changing the font. I feel like a sighted person again. Sweet dreams.
Posted by: richwhiteboy | November 25, 2005 04:53 PM
Helloooo,
Just stumbled across your blog, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Rather, it was forwarded to me by a friend who finds our tones to be similar. I'd like to add you to my links list, with your permission.
Tylenol PM Vanil rocks.
E
Posted by: erik | November 28, 2005 02:00 PM
It is wierd to be in your childhood bedroom sometimes. There's nothing left in mine that was there when I lived there but the wallpaper and some stickers inside my closet door. Now it's my dad's office, and there are 10 phone lines and 2 fax lines and DSL cabling everywhere and a stupidly-fast computer that blows mine out of the water. It's not my room anymore...but I have had sex with 3 ex-boyfriends in there.
Heh.
Posted by: chad | November 28, 2005 06:05 PM
Mmmmmmmm...vanilla. But, seriously, without blogging about friends and family, think of all the fucked up stories you're missing!
Posted by: Jack | November 28, 2005 06:34 PM
I like the idea of you putting out a book. In fact, quit practicing and do it already! *smile*
happy late thanksgiving!
Posted by: Bobby Alexander | November 28, 2005 09:55 PM
You were here in Staten Island and didn't look me up? : (
Posted by: Larry | November 29, 2005 04:24 PM