It's the weekend, people - so let me leave you with some one-liners in response to a few of this week's Bitch Sessions. Enjoy!

I was there as your friend when you caught your boyfriend cheating on you. The gratitude I get as your roommate is for you and your boyfriend to invite a third over to have make-up sex on my bed!

As my mother used to say: No good deed goes unpunished, especially those of roommates with king-size beds.

The correct answer to, "Is it in yet?" is: "It must be. I just got pulled over for entering the carpool lane."

Well, you shouldn't be trying to drive a scooter on the freeway, honeybun.

I hate you for not having the strength to love me.

Please, I barely have the strength to keep myself from pimp-slapping you for saying something so profoundly retarded.

To the guy who said a big heart is more important than a big penis: Just how big are we talking about?

Who knows? Ask the Size Queen himself. (P.S. Give him a 10, he's my good friend!)

I hope "Bitch Session" is around 20 years from now, so all the twinks repelled at the sight of middle-aged gay men who dare to show their faces in public will find themselves on the receiving end of bitches from twinks who haven't even been born yet!

And in 20 years, you'll be even older and just as bitter.

If you're so hot, why do you need two retail jobs to support your career as a stripper?

Because my career as a stripper supports my crystal meth habit.