I'm a little horse
No time for a real update tonight, but here are a few links to keep you from doing anything productive, god forbid.
* This blogger is responsible for the worst pun in "American Idol" history. EVER.
* "In 1995, my dad, who I had not seen since high school, was supposed to visit for the holidays. At the last minute he said he couldn't visit. He never called for Christmas so I knew something was wrong. They found his body 5 months later, decomposed in his apartment."
* This reminds me of a brilliant passage I came across while reading Margaret Atwood's "The Robber Bride":
Is this a hot flash, or merely the old rage coming back? She's just jealous, people say, as if jealousy is something minor. But it's not, it's the worst, it's the worst feeling there is - incoherent and confused and shameful, and at the same time self-righteous and focused and hard as glass, like the view through a telescope. A feeling of total concentration, but total powerlessness. Which must be why it inspires so much murder: killing is the ultimate control.
So, yeah. Don't say I'm jealous of someone unless you really know what you're talking about.
Comments
Fabulous. Kept me away from work for ages. Still miss your own wit
Posted by: Chas | January 13, 2006 11:16 AM
OMG Toby! Those Christmas stories were tragic. I obsessively read every single one. Gross.
Posted by: Charlie | January 13, 2006 05:02 PM
Loved that Margaret Atwood passage - brilliant blog Toby!
Posted by: Ruth | January 13, 2006 06:36 PM
I will never again complain about the slight eccentricities of my relatives I see every Christmas. After reading those stories, I realized how utterly ungrateful I have been for the blessings bestowed upon me, even though I never complained out loud. Thanks for the link.
Posted by: Gumball Machine | January 13, 2006 06:58 PM
What does it say about me as a person that I think the Miserable Christmas website is one of the funniest things I've ever read? Hmm.
Posted by: Sam | January 14, 2006 06:53 PM
Wonderful Christmas stories really cheered me up!
Enjoyed the one about the older brother raping his little bro... way to go!!
Posted by: HisHolynessDPope | January 14, 2006 11:26 PM
Every time I see Clay Aiken's face, I thank God for my parents' looks.
Shameless self-promotion:
http://churchofannette.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Brandon | January 15, 2006 06:09 PM
im tryin to figure out what "I'm a little horse" is sposed to mean...its like does it mean ur tellin us ur hung a little like a horse or that ur feelin a little like a horse - one thats just been ridden hard an put up wet?
TOBY SAYS: Lord, you're a retard.
Posted by: toby | January 21, 2006 10:00 PM
"TOBY SAYS: Lord, you're a retard."
:-( actually i'm a blond.
Posted by: toby (not the blogger) | January 24, 2006 12:59 PM