Roman Catholics will appreciate this one
Our lord and savior Jesus of Nazareth once famously quipped: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."
So was the case yester-evening, when the Roommate and I entertained three wise men (well, two guys and a girl - no pizza place, conspicuously enough) who had traveled that day by Toyota Camry from the sprawling northern suburbs of New Jersey. Weary, famished and presumably parched, the guests nonetheless declined our generous if not aggressive offering of "a drink."
"Take this, all of you, and drink from it," I implored, referencing a chipped coffee mug filled with gin. "It has been poured for you and for all, so that sins may be incited. Do this in memory of me - as I may be unconscious by midnight."
Let us proclaim the mystery (granted, a mystery solved time and time again) of weeknight drinking!
My little song-and-dance impressed no one, with the exception of the Roommate, who admittedly needs little encouragement when it comes to receiving the sacrament in question. And so, the night was spent imbibing among the company of the Unsaved. To each his own, but I cannot help but wonder: What would Jesus drink?
The old "Dasani-into-wine" trick, eh?
Comments
as an RC i'd say JC would drink anything he could get his holy hands on.
if hanging with the lowly prostitues and lepers, a 40 of malt liquor would be appropraite.
hanging with the church elders, a nice cabernet sauvignon or pinot noir.
and if hanging out with me, a whole minibar full of mini liquor bottles, each to be consumed one after the other during a marathon of Trading Spaces while slurring/shouting "i can do better than thaaaaabbbllleuuurgh!"
Posted by: abstract truth | January 4, 2006 03:59 PM
Jesus started out as a jew, and he knew that drinking is a mitzvah. Thank god you catholics have finally started drinking. L'chayim! :)
Posted by: Cooper | January 4, 2006 04:22 PM
Of course you know...our "president" and all his god-fearing minions will now be sure you're going to hell for writing about The Lord alongside alcohol. As if you weren't already heading that way for being a faggot. I'll buy you a drink once we get there, Toby--both those spaces are punched on my ticket as well. :-)
Posted by: JAC | January 4, 2006 04:40 PM
i think Jesus would drink Stoli...there is only one vodka..and Stilchnaya is his name!!!
Posted by: john | January 4, 2006 07:30 PM
LOL. You crack me up. You have a gift. Keep on writing!
Posted by: fried-neurons | January 5, 2006 12:19 AM
Jesus totally wouldn't drink. Look at his body. He would obvi be a crystal whore.
Posted by: Rocco | January 5, 2006 12:46 AM
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past...
and i'll drink to that!
Posted by: HisHolynessDPope | January 5, 2006 02:01 AM
And he said unto me, after drinkng from the chalice, "Brother, may I touch you with my joy? My father's house has many rooms, and you will live in the house of the Lord forever." Um. No thanks.
Posted by: Chrispy | January 5, 2006 08:04 PM
*chuckles*
Posted by: icecube | January 8, 2006 12:50 PM
I would have fucking died had I been there.
Posted by: chad | January 10, 2006 06:45 PM