So, I ran into an "old friend" from high school the other day. Supremely awkward conversations are my forte, so needless to say, I had a really great time catching up on our separate lives during the torturous 45-second exchange.

The encounter began innocently enough: I had been walking down Q Street to 17th, vaguely looking forward to drinks at JRs with Boi From Troy. As I jaywalked my way across the intersection, my eyes fell upon a young male specimen of small stature and flaming mannerisms.

Could it be...? Is that...?

Oh dear lord.

It could. And it is.

Thus began my dismayingly impromptu reunion with Sam, my best friend/ archenemy, depending upon how far back you turn the hands of time.

Things began promisingly, and by promisingly, I mean disastrously. "After all these years," I said, "I knew I'd have to run into you some day." Brrr! Did anyone else feel a chill in the air? No? Well, what I said was the honest truth: He and I both went to college in D.C. - at separate schools - yet managed to avoid crossing paths until that blissful coinkydink at 17th and Q. In fact, I pretty much assumed he had left D.C. altogether since graduating. Who knew my long-time nemesis had been roaming these streets - my streets - the entire time! Seriously, who knew - because I asked all of my friends and no one knows who the fuck this kid is. Intrigue!

Anyway, for fear of putting all of my cards on the table, I said to Sam quite simply, "I'm on my way to meeting my friend for a drink." I neglected to go into details, mostly in the interest of keeping some aspects of my lifestyle shrouded in mystery. He stated in return that he was heading home from work. Interesting - he lives on 17th Street (bastard!), so is he gay? Is he closeted? Do I care? No, no I do not.

Having come to the conclusion that I don't really give a damn about this person anymore, I told him to have a great day and then walked away. Part of me wanted to embrace him and sit down for a little chat, catch up, learn to be honest with each other. There's always the chance that we could become good friends, forget about how awful we were to each other in high school. But deep down I just wanted him to go the fuck away. Leave this city and leave me alone - I have my own life now and I don't want to be reminded of the person I once was.

Moments later, I arrived at JRs, had a beer, chatted with Boi From Troy, and instantly forgot about the entire incident. Sure, maybe Sam reads this blog (stranger things have happened) and will think I'm still a petty psycho bitch, but honestly, I don't really give a shit about that either.