If looks could kill
I started my new workout and diet today. It's not that I haven't been making progress these past few weeks. In fact, I've put on about 10 pounds (mostly in my arms, shoulders and ass), and two of my favorite jeans don't fit anymore. Not exactly a surprise, given that they are size 28s and probably were too small to begin with, but whatevah! It's my sexy body, I do what I want.
The important thing about my new diet is that there are NO EGGS. Augh, how I loathe thee, eggs. Eggs have been replaced by oatmeal, among other things. I'm packing in about 4,000 calories and 300 grams of protein, and already I can hear you clicking away that I'm eating too much of this or that, but I'm just going to try it for two weeks to see how it works. That's how I roll, people. Two weeks, and if nothing good happens, then I change.
There was this awful little troll at the gym who is trying to compensate for his stature by becoming grotesquely buff. Okay fine your arms are huge BUT YOU ARE STILL SHORT. Go to hell but before you do please put back all the equipment as you found it before you started moving shit around, thanks asshole.
Comments
tobez, remember back in 'nam we had the bodies of greek gods? then you just had to get an obsession with twinkies. lot of good it did both of us. i used to be a size 0 and then you basically made me plump into a size 3.14. gross.
Posted by: jonny | March 13, 2006 11:03 PM
When you were talking about the troll I thought you were talking about yourself.
hahaha.
Aren't you like 5'6, 5'7 maybe?
MAYBE?
Posted by: Ruth Stoops | March 14, 2006 02:43 AM
Honestly, how dare they let a short person into YOUR gym!?! I'd complain to the management if I were you.
Posted by: bewareofbrad | March 14, 2006 06:13 AM
Speaking of height--I think I saw you a couple of weeks ago near the Columbia Heights Giant (perhaps with the Gentleman Friend).
You're taller than you look on the Internet.
Posted by: chrisafer | March 14, 2006 07:33 AM
Gee, a post about your new diet and rude people at the gym.
Congrats on your blog finally becoming everything you hate.
TOBY SAYS: Thanks!
Posted by: poops | March 14, 2006 01:14 PM
Why the hatred for our shorter brothers? No need for it all.
As for the new diet plan, sounds crazy to me. But what do I know? I'm all about the pizza baby!
peace
Posted by: James | March 14, 2006 02:18 PM
What are you taking to get 300 grams of protein a day?
I use Isopure. But one serving (two scoops) is still only 50 grams.
Posted by: Anonymous | March 14, 2006 04:20 PM
Troll? I thought that was a mobile dumbbell stand?
Posted by: Bobby Alexander | March 14, 2006 11:31 PM
How do you consume 300g of protein? I have trouble finding 150g even with supplements. Tuna, yogurt, chicken, milk, supplements, eggs, and the occasional Double Double Protein Style, etc.
Posted by: Patrick | March 15, 2006 02:00 AM
:] with you body?? diet... i don't believe
Posted by: M | March 15, 2006 04:40 AM
Look, Babs. So many little eggies, and I'm still starving, and I'm going to eat them all before I go to sleepie.
Posted by: Miss Edie | March 15, 2006 12:23 PM
probably u are a narcisstic person so i shoudn't flatter u, but despite that i can't retrain myself from writting that with your body diet is completly imposibble to understand for me. that all. don't thank ;)
Posted by: Janusz | March 15, 2006 01:35 PM
A diet to gain weight, you fucking idiot (M). Didn't you notice the 4K calories?
Posted by: Brandon | March 15, 2006 03:13 PM
"That's how I roll, people." Toby, will you marry me?
Posted by: weelittlemiss | March 15, 2006 05:15 PM
oh man, i hate the people in the gym that leave crap around. i've got so many pet peeves at the gym.
1) the people that take multiple weights with them. i've seen a guy who took the 30, 40 and 50 pound barbells, and a set of 25 pound dumbbells with him. wtf?
2) people who don't rack thinks in the right place. it says "35" and then put their 50 pound dumbbells there.
3) people that use the weights then leave them all over the place.
4) people that sweat everywhere and don't bring towels to wipe up their crap.
5) people that sit around on the bench for a long time. they'll do one set then sit on the bench for 5 minutes. do another set, sit on a bench for 5 minutes.
Posted by: gawd | March 15, 2006 05:53 PM
Shallow is the new deep.
Posted by: anapestic | March 15, 2006 06:27 PM
... look Brandon - you are idiot!! - i said that because his body is perfect... AND THIS BODY DIET isn't necessary HIS MUSCLE are enough. NARA CZEGEWARA
Posted by: M | March 16, 2006 04:30 AM
Brandon, he made a mistake. Now be quiet and get back to your sub standard blog.
Posted by: GC | March 16, 2006 09:30 AM
"Okay fine your arms are huge BUT YOU ARE STILL SHORT."
That is too funny. Good luck on your new diet.
Posted by: Anonymous | March 18, 2006 02:07 PM
Toby, don't forget to post pics. We want to follow your progress, too.
Posted by: John S. | March 18, 2006 06:38 PM
I thought it would amuse you to know that RIGHT after T. left your party last Friday, he called me and told me every detail about the party and meeting you!! Seriously, what the fuck was he doing pretending to be homeless?! I didn't even know that's what he was doing for Spring Break until he called. T. as a homeless person... if only you could see how much farther from reality that is!
Posted by: Nick | March 20, 2006 01:48 PM
Is T. a tranny?
Posted by: Brandon | March 21, 2006 12:40 PM
I always thought that eating before you sleep would gain you double the pounds as you would in the daytime. WBR LeoP
Posted by: Chemist | March 12, 2007 05:17 PM
Toby, if you are still out there with your insults/attacks on the irish then you are lucky you are even in the presents of day because i am part irish and you are hating me right now. oh! why do i care anyways?
Posted by: Jay | June 14, 2007 10:27 AM
Arsehole
Posted by: Liam Condren | August 15, 2007 11:47 AM
You shall burn in my fireplace biotch!
Posted by: Fuck Toby | September 6, 2007 10:02 PM
My mother is from Ireland.
SO FUCK U 4 BING IGNORANT!
I h8 u bitch!
Posted by: Anonymous | September 6, 2007 10:04 PM