I'm a nice person, I swear
I know I shouldn't post this, but because I tend to beat the running jokes on my blog to a needless death, I'm going to anyway.
A few days ago, I wrote about a local bar owner who claimed one age on his Friendster profile but another to a Washington Post reporter. He left a comment yesterday:
First, my 'friends' know my real age, and therefore they understand the context of the humor. Second, if you are not my friend, don't look at my fucking profile on Friendster. Third, if I were that concerned about my age why would I tell a Washington Post reporter. I have an idea! Let's play "Grow Some Fucking Balls" First, if anyone has a question about my age,contact me yourself rather than using some anonymous blog. Lastly, do something important and write letters to your DC Councilmembers expressing your concern that our elected officials sit and wait while ministers spout hateful rhetoric. Peace.
Hmm, speaking of hateful rhetoric: Be Bar sure sounds like it's going to be great!
Anyway, I want to make amends. I don't really care what his "real" age is; I was just poking light fun at something that anyone with a computer could have figured out on his own. Oh, and please don't tell me that I can't look at the Friendster profiles of random people I don't know, unless you want to come up with something else for me to do when I'm at work.
If you live in D.C., then I really do encourage you to e-mail your councilmember and request that Be Bar be given its liquor license. We need a new gay bar in this city, even if it's managed by someone as young as 28 years old.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW IT'S MY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY TODAY?
Comments
Happy Birthday!
Drink water!
LOL!
Posted by: Brian | April 25, 2006 10:32 AM
"some anonymous blog"
-As if people who don't even live in washington DC couldn't find your hot ass on the streets!
It reminds me of that Golden Girls episode when Blanche is accused of having an affair with a man running for mayor and the press is hounding her and she says "I have nothing to say to any of you except this, the next time my name appears in print it had better read 'Blanche Devereaux, 39'"
Happy Birthday to you, you share it with my fillipino co-worker!
Posted by: Mac | April 25, 2006 10:48 AM
Happy birthday
Posted by: Drew | April 25, 2006 10:59 AM
Mike, love your self description on Friendster...
"You're not going to believe what's going to happen to you...but remember these things: never take any of it personally. If you really want to be a revolutionary, be prepared to be unpopular. Don't do it unless you really mean it, and -- what else? None of it is real."
It's a good thing you don't take Toby seriously... Bravo.
Not your best moment, Mike.
Posted by: Anonymous | April 25, 2006 10:59 AM
Holy Christmas! Next time I want to do some shittastic PR on my burgeoning career in bar management, I too will get waaaaaaayyyyyyy coked up and start web surfing.
Oh yeah, happy birthday, Toby!
Posted by: Anonymous | April 25, 2006 11:11 AM
Happy Motherfucking Birthday, Motherfucking Toby!
"As if people who don't even live in washington DC couldn't find your hot ass on the streets!"
You, know, I tried, Mac. I was there last week and didn't see hide nor hair of him. Course the only place I got to go to was the Lantern. (I really know very little about DC gay life) I take it Toby doesn't go there.
Not reading Friendster profiles if you don't know the person?!? Isn't that the whole damn point? That's like "don't read my damn ass-in-the-air public blog if you don't know me".
If it's out there, you want it to be read. If you don't, make something private with password protection.
Posted by: atari_age | April 25, 2006 11:35 AM
Happy b-day kiddo. I got your present right here.
Posted by: ethan gray | April 25, 2006 11:50 AM
Happy motherfucking birthday. You make me laugh and i wish you a merry evening of drunken debauchery and low-level anxiety.
Posted by: Anonymous | April 25, 2006 12:01 PM
His friends most be so lame if thats his idea of a joke....HHAHAHAH i said i am 28...get it? cause i am not! funny right?
If I were his friend I'd stab him in the eye and be like OMG I am only kidding....get it!!!? Cause his humore is like being stabbed in the eye..
Ugh I know...day of 12 of sobriety and my humor is almost as bad as his.
Posted by: Rocco | April 25, 2006 12:11 PM
Happy Birthday Toby!
Posted by: AJ | April 25, 2006 01:09 PM
It's your birthday gurl! Have a good one. Maybe Brat Boy will pop out of a cake for you?
Posted by: Nic | April 25, 2006 01:20 PM
Happy birthday, Toby! Tonight I'll vacuum up five to ten freshly-cut lines in your honor!
Posted by: anon | April 25, 2006 01:50 PM
If Brat Boy pops out of a cake, we respectfully demand photos of his razor-burned stomach. Happy B-Day!
Posted by: your loyal fans | April 25, 2006 01:59 PM
Happy B-day... And guess what, your still younger than 28... so YAY.
Posted by: rocka | April 25, 2006 02:34 PM
Happy birthday, VB! Turning 16 now? ;-)
R-
Posted by: Me is the Ridor | April 25, 2006 02:40 PM
Is myspace stalking taboo too?
Body shots via iSight. It's all the rage. HBD!
Posted by: Scott Lewallen | April 25, 2006 02:59 PM
Get the fuck out! Again?!? Happy Birthday, Toby!
Posted by: Steve | April 25, 2006 03:30 PM
*breathily*
Happy birthday to youuuu
happy birthday to youuuuu
Happy birthday, Mr. Vividblurry
Happy birthday to youuuuuu
Posted by: Marilyn Monroe | April 25, 2006 03:44 PM
Happy Birthday! (Seriously)
Posted by: Charlie | April 25, 2006 04:26 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBY!
now go out a get wasted!
kisses-
k
Posted by: KAREN | April 25, 2006 04:57 PM
Happy birthday dearest Toby. I hope you have a good one! Don't believe them, you are not middle aged.
Posted by: Tristan | April 25, 2006 05:19 PM
happy birthday tobs
omg just saw a pic of fatty and his bf on flickr.... don't know which is uglier. lol.
Posted by: Fatty Bradford | April 25, 2006 06:30 PM
Happy birthday, Toby. I assumed it was the 20th because of the title of that day's post... how embarrassing for me.
Posted by: Sam | April 25, 2006 08:36 PM
Happy Birthday Jekel/Hyde.
Funny, Episode of Golden Girls Mac.
Posted by: DCMASSHOLE | April 25, 2006 10:26 PM
Happy Birthday!
Posted by: Bourgeois Nerd | April 25, 2006 10:54 PM
Happy Birthday!!
Posted by: James | April 26, 2006 02:30 AM
atari_age,
It's not difficult to find Tobias Maxwell in DC you need only look to the nearest super market in the boxed wine isle. Or at the local Supercuts getting his eyebrows waxed by Selena Los Diez Garcias. If all else fails you can search any and all LA Fitness Gyms and look for him jamming to Britney on his i-pod in a stretch poly cotton blend tank and everlast running shorts.
Posted by: mac | April 26, 2006 10:04 AM
Happy belated birthday!!!!
P.S. I'm curious, why the hatred for Brat Boy? (not that I'm defending his site, ability to breathe, etc., just curious)
Posted by: matt | April 26, 2006 04:18 PM
Happy Belated B-day!
Posted by: Darkshifter | April 26, 2006 05:13 PM
Actually, I think I saw this guy @ JRs last night. When you see him in person, you realize that claiming to be 28 (or even 32, for that matter) is pretty fucking hilarious.
Posted by: Dan | April 27, 2006 01:21 PM