America has been 28 for 202 years
A recurring theme: despair.*
I spent the holiday weekend in Rehoboth with the Gentleman Friend, 14 additional friends of somewhat lesser significance, and - evidently - the entire gay population of Washingon, D.C. It was all good though; people are generally more friendly and approachable when they are seen not only in a different context, but in a desperately revealing pair of squarecut swimtrunks.
Each day of my vacation unraveled in a similar fashion. Behold the unofficial schedule:
10:30 a.m. Wake up to the sound of either Jack laughing or a headboard banging against the shared wall of your bedroom.
11 a.m. Eat breakfast. Recover from shame. Accept the fact that things are a lot less socially awkward when everyone is drunk.
12 - 3 p.m. Lay on the beach. Complain about how hot it is. Marvel at former Metro Weekly Coverboy with heartbreakingly underdeveloped quads and suspiciously tightened abs.
3 p.m. Return to house. Consider pouring yourself the first alcoholic beverage of the day and becoming "That Guy."
3:10 p.m. Succumb to temptation. Begin what will ultimately become a 12-hour binge.
4 p.m. - 4 a.m. Mayhem. Debauchery. Shockingly forward displays of sexuality.
4 a.m. Pass the fuck out.
I mean, can your holiday beat that?
*That is not me.
Comments
Well whose ass is it?
Posted by: James | July 5, 2006 08:57 PM
and can you imagine all the masturbatory pandamonium if it acctually WAS a picture of your ass?
Posted by: mac | July 5, 2006 10:06 PM
Who care's who's ass it is...its hot.
Though I still don't like FCUK clothing.
Posted by: Bettie Bloodshed | July 5, 2006 10:16 PM
I would have said "those are NOT my chicken legs", personally.
Posted by: Sam | July 6, 2006 03:02 AM
I knew that wasn't your ass. You have a much nicer ass... at least on MySpace. Still, given the level of debauchery you allude to, those could be your underpants. Anyway, glad to see you're not dead; merely embalmed. Daily updates will be welcome, if not open to ridicule. We have to sharpen our claws somewhere.
Posted by: Tim | July 6, 2006 06:51 AM
Who in their right mind wears black underwear under white shorts?
VUL, anyone?
Posted by: Steven. | July 6, 2006 09:59 AM
Well those are my underwear...but based on the debauchery of this weekend, I only give it a 60% chance of that actually being my ass.
Posted by: GJ | July 7, 2006 01:12 AM
Toby,
that sounds like a good time, actually. I've never been to Rehoboth. I can't decide whether that should upset me or not. But I have to agree, who wears black undies with white shorts? debauchery or not...
Posted by: Bobby Alexander | July 10, 2006 05:59 PM
I can't believe it...we share a love of the Delaware coastline. My Dewey Beach timeline is the perfect foil to your Rehoboth one. Great minds...thinking alike.
Posted by: Suedisco | July 27, 2006 06:07 PM