Uh-huh, that's my shit
Ah, Manor Park. (Who knew?) Home of many a chicken shack, Baptist church, unisex hair salon — and evidently the 2007 Mid-Atlantic Drumline Championship. With nothing better to do on the hallowed eve of Martin Luther King Day, some friends and I journeyed to a random high school gymnasium where "urban percussionists" (p.c. term) got down, dirty, and straight-up NASTAY. Welcome to drumline, bitch!
As one of only three white people in attendance, I felt instantly at home among my drumline-loving brothers and sisters, clapping along and resisting the impulse to gawk when an eight-year-old mimed perverse sexual acts to the backbeat rhythm of marching drums. Of course, that comes with the territory. I was amazed by the enthusiasm and spirit of the crowd, and the performances were absolutely stunning, including that of the proud mother who, upon witnessing her daughter accept a first place trophy, stood up and exclaimed, "That's my baby!" Drama — what's not to love?
Further contributing to a day of many firsts, I imbibed a Sam's Club Diet Cola, easily the gnarliest shit I've ever had the misfortune of consuming. Drumline Championship: A. Ghetto-ass shit-in-a-can: D.
Comments
From these last two posts it seems MLK Day has really brought out your inner black girl.
I move for Toby to adopt henceforth the last name Jackson.
Posted by: Dino | January 16, 2007 11:56 PM
i'm doing the whitney shoulder shrug at this very moment...and yes, i watched the crack baby on idol. i love it becuase from now on, she will be referred to as the "crack baby".
Posted by: matt | January 17, 2007 01:20 AM
I can't tell you how many times I've practiced my walk like the girl who accepted the trophy from Eastern High School. As a matter of fact, I sashayed over to my cup of coffee this morning and held it up like it was that damn trophy. Unfortunately my momma wasn't yelling in the background "Dat my baby!"
Posted by: clay | January 17, 2007 08:39 AM
Keep your first name. It was the slave name of Kunta Kinte on Roots. Maybe you're descended from Mestizo royalty!? There's got to be a queen or two in your past somewhere.
Posted by: Jellyroll Jenkins | January 17, 2007 10:53 AM