How am I not working at McDonald's?
I will admit to knowing very little about history, geography, current events, etc. In other words, I have a 1-in-42 chance of survival if my life depended on identifying Missouri on a map of the United States. (I'm pretty sure I know where New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, California, Texas, Florida, Alaska and Hawaii are.)
That said, I tend to be fantastically stubborn when it comes to defending the things about which I'm almost positively sure. It's been a while since I've tried to convince my friends that my mother's first husband is somehow related to me by blood (Give me a break, I was in first grade!) or that you can't get HIV from oral sex (No, I did not disprove this empirically). But recently I have sworn that...
1. ...a white woman sang Whoopi Goldberg's vocals in the "Sister Act" films. I was so confident in this bit of trivia that I bet on it against my friend for $10. I ended up buying him dinner - albeit a cheap one - a few days later.
2. ...the Eiffel Tower is taller than the Empire State Building. To be honest with you, I don't know what possessed me to stick to my guns on this one. I think I (mis)read a Q&A card while playing a board game. The funny thing is that I offered this fun fact in a completely unsolicited fashion. No, literally - we were walking back from the beach and I randomly blurted, "Did you know that the Eiffel Tower is taller than the Empire State Building?" As a general rule, if I provocatively ask you if you know of something, you probably don't, because that something is either false or doesn't exist.
3. Duck-walking. The proper term is goose-stepping.
Also, I learned two days ago that prunes in their recognizable state are not found on trees but are in fact dried plums. Imagine that!
Comments
but it was so cute how you defended your Eiffel Tower "fact" for hours, even though about 6 of us tried to change your mind. :)
Posted by: BB | March 1, 2007 06:30 PM
Oh, Toby.....
Young, dear, sweet, impressionable, doe-eyed, emotionally-fractured Toby.....
I think I love you....isn't that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say that I've never felt this way!....
Did you you know that it's finally been scientifically proven that the higher one's IQ the smaller their penis! Those poor Asians!!
Posted by: HornDog | March 1, 2007 08:00 PM
if you were able to tie a bees legs together so they couldn't move - it wouldn't be able to fly either.
Posted by: adrian | March 1, 2007 08:52 PM
Even your fallacies shine . There's a beach in DC?
Posted by: Scott | March 1, 2007 09:08 PM
If you live in DC you should know where MD and DE are at least.
Now I've seen teams suck before, but that team plain sucked! They were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
I have to go now, my stupid weiner kids are listening.
Posted by: Kwake | March 2, 2007 02:55 AM
Why would anyone give a fuck where Missouri is?
Posted by: Teddy | March 2, 2007 10:30 AM
Oh my, the great HIV debate. You almost cried when we showed you the CDC reports.
Also, the Eifel Tower!? Are you serious?
TOBY SAYS: If I'm not mistaken, that was the same night you put Kaley's vibrator in your mouth, no?
Posted by: Rusty | March 2, 2007 10:46 AM
Toby - you are so very cute!
Posted by: Robert | March 2, 2007 03:50 PM
Toby doesn't even know how old our landlady is -- then again, no one does.
Posted by: Agatha | March 2, 2007 06:06 PM
My brother and I spent our whole childhood arguing about whether newborn babies have gills and a tail, and then the internet came along and ruined it all. And I'm only pissed because my third grade teacher is a total liar and babies don't have tails.
Posted by: Ryan | March 4, 2007 09:27 PM
Tobe-ster, those eyes
That sensuous, dark look...
Me love it!
Slightly-brooding, Semi-pouting
Those juicy, ruby-red lips
So kissable, so pen-a-tra-ta-ble...
I must know
What you smell like?
What you taste like?
Love IS the answer
Just ask me!!......
Posted by: Horny Toad | March 5, 2007 02:54 PM
Well, aren't you a ringing endorsement for the value in public education? Gheez, my 10 yr old knows this stuff --including the capital of Missouri.
Posted by: Michigan-Matt | March 8, 2007 09:44 AM