If forced to choose, I'd rather have one disproportionately large pectoral muscle than two small but equally sized muscles - and so I am not too concerned about my left pec being significantly (in the mind of someone with a crippling body image disorder) larger than my right. Perhaps the nipple ring stimulates growth? If so, then I've a list of body parts in need of immediate piercing!

Anyway, I mention this because I woke up this morning to an intensely sore left pec - but a normal-feeling right. Worried that I inadvertently isolated the left muscle during Sunday's chest workout, I ran to the bathroom and investigated. Nope, nothing out of the ordinary - just the usual stretch marks and cancerous lesions! (Just kidding.) If anything, both pecs looked bigger... although this is most likely a cruel product of my body dysmorphic imagination. (I bet that this afternoon they will look smaller and I will cry the tears of a dysmorphic clown.)

Upon leaving the bathroom, I suddenly remembered why I felt so sore: Some guy at the bar on Friday attached his bear paw to my left tit and squeezed it as Lennie would a rabbit. Sure, my nerve endings are effectively deadened from years of alcohol abuse and reckless overstimulation, but damn, I'd be lying if I said that shit didn't hurt! Is this what it feels like for Agatha when I squeeze her breasts while she's sleeping? I hope not!

P.S. Don't read into this question, but what are the common signs for implant rupture? K, thx, bye!