Baby, can you bleed like me?
I've stuck to my bulking diet for two weeks straight, but my body hasn't gained a single pound. Stupid body. I want to harm it somehow. Maybe I will go home and drink a gallon of olive oil. That's 30,000 calories right there! I mean, olive oil is one of those "healthy" fats, right? Right.
Bob Greene (who shills for McDonald's) is on "Oprah" right now, congratulating one woman for losing 40 pounds. She is now 210 pounds therefore she is still overweight. I think the average woman weights 166 pounds. I am not going to tell you what I weigh because I am totally ashamed.
I want to go on "Oprah" and complain about how I can't gain weight. The audience would revolt and I would be stoned to death on national television. This is the fate I deserve.
P.S. ON A POSITIVE NOTE, ENJOY THIS AMAZING REMIX OF AVRIL'S "GIRLFRIEND" FEATURING LIL MAMA!!!!!!
Comments
don't worry buddy, you're not the only one who can't gain a pound and really can't mention it to anyone without them thinking that you're whining about it. isnt reverse discrimination great?
Posted by: riggie | May 22, 2007 05:30 PM
...there are healthy fats now?
I have the same shameful problem, Toby :(
Posted by: Sam | May 23, 2007 12:56 AM