I interrupted some philosophical conversation about body weight he was having with some twink
To quote my late former landlady's mentally unbalanced sister, "I just flew in from New York" - and let me tell you, there is a ton of shit to blog about. But before I get into Kathy Griffin's performance at MSG and "The Little Mermaid" and the guy at Therapy who read my Staten Island roots like a book, I need to tell you about my brief run-in with no one's favorite porn industry cliche, Erik Rhodes.
For those who aren't familiar with Erik (i.e. everyone), he is a former (?) porn actor who writes about his Sexual Compulsives Anonymous meetings on his blog - of which the "About" section is a studio photo of his ass. And that is pretty much all you need to know about Erik Rhodes.
Long story mercifully short, I ran into him at Therapy while getting drinks for my boyfriend and myself, and I thought nothing of approaching him to say hi. I said that I read his blog and and he looked at me like I was crazy. Actually, he didn't really look at me like I was crazy - he kind of just looked at me, blankly. To say his response was, "Oh, thanks," would be generous paraphrasing.
For some reason, when I spotted him, I imagined us having a brief but gratifying conversation about body image and working out and blogging, and I would scamper back upstairs to my boyfriend and say, "I just met Erik Rhodes, and it turns out that not all steroid-addled porn stars are brain-dead tools!" Instead, I felt like an idiot for even bothering him, even though you and I both know I am superior to him in nearly every way by virtue of the facts that I don't put a price on personal boundaries ($1,000 per scene, apparently), I don't have a crippling addiction to steroids and recreational party drugs, and I don't wear a stupid chimney-sweep hat when I go out to a bar.
Of course, it makes no sense to criticize Erik's faults when they are the only interesting things about him. Think about it: Erik is proud to get fucked in the ass in front of a camera for money but is ashamed to seek sex for personal pleasure - ironic that he was at a bar named "Therapy." He is truly a fascinating individual, but if there is one overly muscled drug-abusing prostitute in New York, there are a million, and to approach him in a bar for anything but a hurried exchange of bodily fluids is a waste of both your time and his.
Addendum: Rocco has been writing about Erik for the past several days. I mentioned Rocco to Erik, and he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about. Anyway, check out Rocco's coverage here, here, here, here and here.
Comments
I was wondering when you'd get around to talking about Mr. Rhodes. Rocco's been on him (not THAT way, though I wouldn't be surprised if that yet happened) for days! What you say is pretty much the impression of him I have. But there ARE smart porn stars out there. Just not him. (And I happen to not hold it against someone who gets in front of a camera and haves sex because A) I don't think one should criticize what one gets so much enjoyment out of; and B) I sure as hell couldn't do it, and no one would want me to, so I say flaunt it if you got it. But you're a prude and that's a-okay.)
"[O]verly muscled"?!?!? I can't believe you said that! I thought those words didn't got together in your vocabulary!
Can't wait to hear about the rest of your trip, especially Kathy Griffin!
Posted by: Bourgeois Nerd | January 28, 2008 11:51 PM
OMG! Were you the trick he wrote about in today's post?
Posted by: Steven. | January 28, 2008 11:52 PM
Maybe you would have gotten more of a reaction had you said "I masturbate to your blog"
then you might have had more in common?
Reading may put you in another category
Posted by: Mac | January 29, 2008 12:03 AM
Pretty much sums up much of New York nightlife. When can we expect you back?
Posted by: Nick'd | January 29, 2008 09:43 AM
What the fuck? you dont mention me?
Cunt
Posted by: Rocco | January 29, 2008 10:11 AM
Okay you two!
Posted by: Lady Bing | January 29, 2008 12:35 PM
It's a bad bad train wreck. I found that man's site a week ago and am fixated at the content...Britney has nothing on him. NOTHING. and rocco's return was highlighted for me in the comments section. Good times, Good times !!
Posted by: Nate | January 29, 2008 02:28 PM
I almost met you out at Therapy when I saw your twitter message but was concerned that would be stalker-ish.
Posted by: JX | January 29, 2008 06:06 PM
So let me see if I get you: you go up to a stranger, say you like his blog, then get funky because he doesn't have the conversation you think you two should have.
Okaaaaaaay.
TOBY SAYS: James, I expect more from you. You've been reading my blog for a long time and you know that I am not that simple minded.
Posted by: James | January 29, 2008 08:44 PM
My brain is fried from too much work and not enough sleep. I'm properly chastised for being unable to grasp irony.
Posted by: James | January 29, 2008 10:40 PM
I just think it's really sad, I admit I have a soft spot for broken people.I can't find it in my heart to say anything bad about people like that till they start hurting the people around them with their addictions. I just wish people like that would learn to slow down, think before they act and try to scrape together enough self esteem to keep themselves together. but it's not easy.
I was totally proud of Rocco for beginning to address his anger issues that was nice!
Posted by: Tim | January 30, 2008 07:43 PM
So let me get this straight: this braindead porn star has "a crippling addiction to steroids", but John Cena has "the perfect body". Um, ok. It's amazing how a guy's choice not to talk to you completely changes how you perceive him aesthetically.
Honestly, what DID you expect to happen when you attempted to strike up a conversation? That he would offer to buy you a cocktail of deca and hgh? You know that would be your dream come true. It's only a matter of time before we all see Toby all bloated and veiny and retaining enough water to end drought in Africa. It's where all fag body dysmorphia leads.
Posted by: John Dough | February 26, 2008 09:59 AM
i'm sorry but i think that from reading his blog, you should already have know that he would'nt be the easiest person to talk to!
personally, i think he need's some real friends who will help him get over his drug addiction and try to help him fix his tragic disstorted view of his life and the world around him. i feel like bagging on him for his flaws is not helping him any! i admit i like him, and would fuk him anytime, but i know that, being who he is, he'd expect me to jump his bones! so i would'nt approach him on a sexual vibe. i think were alot alike and if he did'nt have such a high wall built up around him it hide alot of the hurt i'm sure he's suffered, he be an awesome person!
Posted by: ashlee | March 7, 2008 12:59 AM