New York City Series: Do gay guidos not exist in NYC?
For a long time I've thought of getting my ears pierced. Diamond studs, small and square - sure, ear piercings on men are universally terrible, but self-tanner and spiked hair are also terrible, and I've done a pretty good job of convincing myself that I make those things work. I don't see why earrings should be any different.
If anything, the conversation I had in a New York City gay bar on Sunday night has only fueled my desire to go to Claire's this weekend for a free piercing (with the purchase of earrings and ear care antiseptic).
Guy: [Unprovoked] "What the hell are you wearing? You're in New York."Me: "Er, what do you mean?"
Guy: "You are one silver chain away from Staten Island, dude."
Me: "Um, I was born in Staten Island. My entire family lives there."
Guy: "Yea. I can see that."
I'm sorry that my dark Italian features are complimented so well by a black V-neck muscle T and three ounces of hair gel. Now pop off, son!
Comments
Just curious: what was the unprovoked Guy wearing? Something tells me it wasn't faded Levis and a t-shirt.
TOBY SAYS: He was wearing a stupid hat and some garish overpriced knit sweater.
Posted by: Anonymous | January 31, 2008 08:29 AM
Ear Care Antiseptic would be a good name for a band.
Posted by: TED | January 31, 2008 09:20 AM
hilarious!
Posted by: jan-michael | January 31, 2008 10:59 AM
um, actually i thought it WAS provoked. you didn't tell the first half of the story and why he, of all people, might make fun of what you were wearing.
Posted by: the boyfriend | January 31, 2008 11:38 AM
To WASPy Pennsylvanians, gay guidos are hot. Keep it up.
Posted by: Frontier Psychiatrist | January 31, 2008 12:04 PM
If you get earrings, you need a chain link tattooed around your arm (whichever one is bigger to attract even more attention to it).
Also, POP OFF! Pop off; pop off. Pop off; pop off.
Posted by: Agatha | January 31, 2008 12:09 PM
I'm sure you've seen this, but I feel it applies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M
Posted by: Mike Haddad | January 31, 2008 12:55 PM
Regardless of the fact I am Italian myself... I think the guido look is pretty Hot when done by the right guy... such as yourself.
Posted by: Brian | January 31, 2008 01:12 PM
Yo, treat him like I's treat Darlen or Jennavecia. Stupid bitches, yo. Pop off! I's from Brooklyn, yo, we dun't ac like dat. Go up side those bitches head, yo. Pop off!
Posted by: Tanisha | January 31, 2008 01:27 PM
Do not go to Claire's. Go to a proper tattoo and piercing parlor and have it done, the guns they use at places like Claires are not good for your ears.
Posted by: Shan | January 31, 2008 05:47 PM
you do tend to dress like joey from friends a lot.
Posted by: chris | February 1, 2008 12:21 AM
So says the guy from Iowa. Toby, don't sweat it. I am a Jersey born boy who hears these kinda statements from people all the time. Odds are high the dude 1. Has never been to Staten Island B. Doesn't even know where Staten Island is located.
That being said, Staten Island and Jersey are a nightmare :)
Posted by: Pete | February 1, 2008 03:54 AM
hey if you want fashion tips
http://kurlander.blogspot.com/2008/01/people-who-may-have-paid-too-much-for.html
Posted by: Tim | February 1, 2008 10:15 AM
So, do you drive a Camaro or a Firebird?
....hehe just busting your balls
Posted by: Alfonzo | February 1, 2008 07:22 PM
After you told him to pop off did you grab some bakeware and start clanging it around the bar singing "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie..."?
Posted by: mac | February 4, 2008 12:44 PM
So it this MTV True Life all about you???
http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/truelife/episode/episode.jhtml?episodeId=109379
Posted by: Jed | February 12, 2008 04:09 PM