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Toby

Posted by Toby at 08:34 PM | Permalink

You know, I'm not even looking forward to the weekend because I'll have to socialize with people when all I really want to do is lock myself in my room and -

I know I'm letting certain things get the best of me, but there are two things I don't write about on this blog - work and relationships - because having problems with either of these things doesn't make me special.

Posted by Toby at 10:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

I left my office building yesterday at 6 p.m. and went to Polly's on U Street, where some coworkers and I shot the shit - or is it talked shit? A little from column A, a little from column B. Actually, a lot from column B. And as usual, I drank way too much and can only recall my walk home as "wet." Once inside my apartment, I stripped off all of my rain-soaked clothes (except for my boxers - am I the only gay man who wears boxers?) and plopped on the Victorian love seat with a plate of hastily prepared Tater Tots. And that's when Agatha walked in. She was drunk too, and we spent the rest of the night talking about our dead former landlady.

Posted by Toby at 04:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)

I did deadlifts for the first time on Sunday, which means my hamstrings are very sore today. Do deadlifts even work the hamstrings? I have no idea. But whatever, by doing deadlifts, I was the most bad-ass person in the gym, even though I didn't have any weights on the barbell. Maybe next week I'll throw on one of those cute 2.5-pound plates. Aw.

I'm picking up my new suit tomorrow after work. It is black-ish and pinstriped. It was the first suit I tried on in the store, which means that fate ordained my purchase or that I wasn't looking hard enough. Either way, it looks fantastic. I'll post a picture later this week.

On a side note, I needed a new suit because I outgrew the others. In just a few months, I went from a size 38R to a size 43R. All muscle, I'm sure.

Posted by Toby at 03:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

I woke up in my boyfriend's bed this morning and immediately grabbed the Nintendo DS from the bedside table to squeeze in another level of "Super Mario Bros. 2" before my better, larger half woke up, as well. It is much harder and not nearly as fun to play with muted sound, but I've now advanced to Level 4. (All the while as Peach, of course. I don't think I've ever played as any other character.)

My boyfriend had a volleyball game in the early afternoon, and on the way to the court he dropped me off at the gym. I don't usually work out at Washington Sports Club, and as expected the place was grimy, the people were disgusting, and the staff looked like they've never made it past the front desk of a gym in their lives. So I was the biggest one there, which is all that matters.

Walking back to my boyfriend's apartment, I took the long way down P Street and ran into my friend Scott, who made fun of me for wearing only shorts and a tank top. In my defense, it was 51 degrees Fahrenheit, and what is the point of working out your arms if you're going to walk home in a sweatshirt? Correct, there is no point.

Currently, I am staring at the cover model on April's issue of "Muscle & Fitness" - the impossibly handsome, muscular and heterosexual Brian Wiefering, who is shown posing with an egg. This cracks me up, no pun intended.

Posted by Toby at 05:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Not content with failing the Stroop tests and mathematical questions posed by "Brain Age," I went to Best Buy with my boyfriend today to purchase another game for our Nintendo DS. We walked out with "Super Mario Bros. 2." I absolutely love this game and beat it multiple times as a child. The other contender was "Nintendogs," so at least I'm destroying my brain cells with something that's age-appropriate.

After leaving Best Buy, we walked to Target, where I bought a mop. I literally spent more time choosing this mop than I did choosing a suit at Men's Warehouse earlier in the day. When it comes to groceries and packaged consumer goods, I am obsessed with getting the best value for my money, ergo my agonizing in the aisles of Target over the Clorox mop versus the Quickie mop. (I chose the Clorox mop based on aesthetics, practicality, and ease-of-use.) Then we tried on some $24.99 jeans - just for fun - and I was surprised at how well they fit. Still, we both preferred the jeans we wear wearing, which cost 10 times as much, thanks.

I also tried on a white button-down shirt that was on sale for $14.99, and it was nice if not a little snug. Upon walking out of his fitting room and seeing me in my discount retailer outfit, my boyfriend told me to stand up straight and "suck in" my stomach. I was already doing both. The funny thing is that, according to our body mass indexes, I am overweight and my boyfriend is obese. I remind myself of this whenever he tells me to suck in my stomach, which is increasingly frequent.

I am currently working on a new Wordpress-powered layout, which will enable you all to read my blog entries from as early as 2000. I'm sorry for the lack of posting, but new and exciting things are on the way.

Posted by Toby at 11:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)