I recently discovered Girls Aloud through their latest single “Untouchable,” which is played on Energy 98 all day long. It is the official SONG OF THE SUMMER, at least in my head and also in my boyfriend’s car, where I whine and complain until he caves into letting me plug in my iPhone and play the damn song. (I always choose the seven-minute extended version because I’m an asshole.) Anyway, I love this song, and I love Girls Aloud as much as one who has never actually handed over money for a Girls Aloud song can.
Knowing my interest in shitty music, B___ sends me a link this afternoon to a music video by some group called The Saturdays. I had heard a little about them and assumed they were some indie hipster group. But when I pull up their Wikipedia page, I discover the familiar formula of five attractive women, each with varying degrees of skin pigmentation and stylized hair. They look just like every other girl group – SO OF COURSE I BECOME OBSESSED WITH THEM.
Their video for “Work” is pretty much perfect and adheres closely to the standards and practices outlined in Girl Group Music Videos 101:
- Leather outfits
- Posing disguised as dancing
- Hair extensions
- Balls of fire
- Wind machine
- Sparks falling from the ceiling
- Overexposed closeups
- Fake dance floor with a runway
- Spotlights
- Stomping around on a wet floor
- No plot
- Sexy face
God, I’d give anything to be in a girl group. I’d even volunteer to be the ugly one who isn’t trusted to sing verses.
The Girls Aloud song “something kinda ooh” is even more annoying on repeat. Just saying…
Toby says: I actually haven’t heard that one yet. I only have their three albums going back to “Chemistry.”
I dislike Girls Aloud and The Saturdays. I have recently been enjoying a song called “Keep Your Head Up” by a new girl group called “Girls Can’t Catch”. None of them are very pretty which leads me to believe that they might actually be able to sing.
http://musicremedy.us/post/148216598/head-up
Toby says: Cute song!
Point of order: Rochelle and Frankie were actually part of S Club Juniors, which became S Club 8, which became I Dream. Here is a gem that features Frankie and fellow S Clubber Calvin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=db_vwfcE0PA
laugh-out-loving the recent updates toblerone ~
I could only make is far as 1:01 before the dry heaves started.
They remind me of drag queens performing on a stage when they take turns going to the front and singing their line. I haven’t listened to any girl group since the Spice Girls…
Plus, the tween voyeur (voyeuse?) who must indicate some kind of girl power message.
Even Hitler is a massive Girls Aloud fan:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPMdVTymtOg