I have a hard enough time seeing my friends in eye-rollingly meager whisps of Lycra at the pool, so you can imagine my discomfort when stumbling upon photos of my friends doing sexy times on the Internet.
This very thing happened to me the other day when about 300 people e-mailed me links to a porn blog that featured still frames of a mutual “friend” (To be honest, I barely know this person, he showed up to my boyfriend’s birthday party one year and was perfectly nice, I’ve probably interacted with him three times since then.) pounding out the veal with his considerably less attractive “co-star.”
As with any disaster – be it one involving cars, acts of nature, or, in this case, an individual – it was impossible to look away, so I scanned through the images, experiencing a tingling sensation that was entirely unfamiliar, given the situation. No, it wasn’t arousal; it was faint admiration.
Indeed, how empowering it must be to allow photos of the most private aspects of your life and genitalia be posted on the Internet for the world to see. To live without a thing to hide – I’m not sure if I have or will ever experience that. I’m always covering up something: my emotions, my tenders. ESPECIALLY my tenders. No Lycra swim trunks for me.
You know, blogging really is sort of like doing porn. You’re putting yourself out there, exposing yourself (albeit figuratively) to the judgement of family, friends and strangers alike. Of course, blogging is far less lucrative and usually doesn’t involve getting your taint waxed.
So, uh, where’s the link…?
Yes, link required please.
he showed up uninvited. do not imply that he is my friend and therefor yours. if i was allowed to enjoy my birthday exactly as i would want it to be, i would have said “i don’t even know you, please leave”.
Toby says: Ha ha ha you are a bitch.
Um, it totally made my day to receive the link…not in a sexual way, more in a “ha ha ha, you’ve been fucked like that in my house” sorta way. You can take the slut outta College Park and send her to La La Land, but you can’t take the College Park outta the slut! I’m just sayin’.
I agree…blogging is like emotional porn. You’re putting all your dirty laundry out there for the world and much easier than getting your taint waxed!
I know, Toby, let’s do a blogger porn movie! It’ll be like that Seth Rogen thing no one watched!
oh, so was that the link of Nick or bret? those are at least two that I know of… haha.
blogging is lucrative, unless you’re an idiot like you!
Just after high school someone found a photo of these two (from our little school in alaska) non-sporty guys mostly wearing soccer gear doing something extra-curricular on this horrible couch from the 70s.