It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth
Ouch
Boy, things sure were funny a few weeks ago when I cracked jokes about my injured elbow. It is still sore, particularly this evening, thanks to a morning spent hauling my suitcase on and off a 6:36 a.m. train from Metropark, New Jersey, to Washington. Lifting this bottle of Yuengling to my mouth isn't that taxing on my strained (torn?) tendon, but I'm sure a 40-pound dumbbell would present more of a problem.
For the past four weeks, I refrained from working out in the hope that my elbow would heal. Without the gym, I feel lost. Control of my body is the only control I've felt in a very long time. I see guys on campus who I would once regularly see by the bench press, and now I'm envious of the perceived progress they've made in my absence. It's so hard to get back into a workout after abandoning it for so long, and it's going to be even harder getting back into it with an injured elbow.
I fear that I'll never be able to work out again. I will be frail and scrawny for the rest of my life, all because of a stupid sore elbow. For someone who hasn't even seen a doctor yet, I think too much. Which is why I'm scheduling an appointment tomorrow. There will be something glamorous about physical therapy, but only if I'm totally healed in the end. I'm afraid the doctor will say I have a torn tendon, but c'mon, what could I have done to cause that, and wouldn't it hurt a fuckload more?
I feel a bit better now, thanks to writing this entry. It's not funny or amusing or self-hating, but that's just the way things are going to be for a while.
Nite
Across the universe
People read this Web site and know that I'm unhappy.
I love Rufus Wainwright
"Today people put so much faith in the fact that they're gay," he said. "They behave as if it's some kind of talent." He, on the other hand, contends that beautiful things emerge from people who aren't so accepted and fulfilled by society, and wonders if he wouldn't have been happier in the 19th century with Oscar Wilde.
(NYT, June 24, 2001)
So stoned
If my mom loved me, she would stock my room with snacks.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm thankful that I'm not one of those people who takes a moment out of his Thanksgiving day to think about what he's most thankful for.
Stupid high school alumni bar crawl
I was there to see everybody.
Nobody was there to see me.
You're hot.
But I want to see more pics of you nakey
Access to Randall's full profile is limited to friends in Randall's personal network?
Well, fuck you, Randall. Fuck. You.
Ghostwritten by Brit Brit
Hi, y'all! I'm at home in New York on my family's sprawling suburban ranch. It's cold and damp, but it's better than my apartment in D.C. where Comcast has promptly disconnected our cable and Internet service. I'm sure I'll be hearing from my friends at the collection agency shortly.
Since my bed at the ranch is an actual bed — not a crappy $100 futon bolstered by a foam egg crate — you'd think I'd have the sweetest dreams in months. Guess again, lambs. My nightmarish vision consisted of Dr. Ana Marie Cox telling me that I had stomach cancer and then trying to kill me by injecting some sort of poison pellet into my left temple.
OK I'm tired of writing, I just want to lay down on the couch and watch "That's So Raven." Perhaps this break will inspire me to get back into blogging, rather than just updating every so often with some pointless rambling missive. Maybe I need a new layout. Or perhaps I should just start smoking more weed.
Hey, quick question: My host is phpwebhosting and I can't configure it (particularly the outgoing mail server) to work with Microsoft Entourage. Phpwebhosting is the WORST host ever, so: a) Either tell me how to configure it with Entourage, or else I won't be able to respond to any of your e-mails until Monday; or b) Suggest another host and how I might go about switching hosts, since it seems really complicated and I'm a very lazy person.
Much love. Don't fight the glamour, darlings.
I like to write, but only one sentence at a time
If you plan on seeing "Seed of Chucky" this weekend, then see it with your cool/ hot rock star friend; a messenger bag full of beer helps, too.
Everything will be alright
I stress over stupid things. I have a 10-page paper on the FCC due Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. I printed out a shit-ton of articles on the topic but haven't yet bothered to read them or draft an outline. Whatever. I'm going to have fun tonight and not allow myself to worry about the paper.
I'm in one of those moods where I just want to cry, so perhaps it's not the paper that is bothering me. What could it be?
"You were holding a baguette..."
Sometimes when I see people on the Metro or on the street, I can sense a Craigslist missed connection forming in their heads.
But I can still feel you here
So much can happen over the course of two years.
Four serious relationships. A string of dead-end romances. A couple of broken hearts -- not necessarily my own.
Nearly four semesters. Almost 20 classes. Countless term papers. A great number of A's. A few B's. No C's.
Endless buckets of Coronas. Six or seven nights spent vomiting into a garbage can. Far too many mornings spent cluthing a bottle of Dasani and a handful of aspirin.
Two URLs. Exactly 297 entries on Greymatter. Lord knows how many entries on Blogger. Seven banned IP addresses. Nine fabulous layouts.
Good times. Bad times. Difficult times. Confusing times. Happy times. Funny times. Regrettable times. Misunderstood times. Too many times.
I could go on. But to be completely honest, I don't want to.
In fact, to be completely honest would be to go against everything that this site has become.
I am going to take a break. The word 'break' implies a return. And when I do return, it will be with a new URL, a new layout, and a new outlook on the purpose, value and benefits of weblogging
Another hero thrown into the fire
Mmm, expanded functionality
What's the best part of Britney's "Greatest Hits - My Prerogative" DVD?
A) 20 full-length music videos
B) Pristine digital video and audio
C) Free pull-out poster
D) The retarded faces Britney makes in her outtakes
I'M GOING TO GO WITH "D", REGE!
The DVD also has a pretty cool interface. Check it out below. Gosh, I love this DVD so much, I think I feel a poem coming on, y'all!!!
I look cute in a tie, too
I had my picture taken for the yearbook today. The photographer refused to let me part my lips for the "studious" shot. "Lips closed! CLOSED!" Augh.
I suppose he has a point. When most people try to part their lips in an enticing pout, it usually ends up looking like a puckering anus.
I look so cute in layers
I've been too busy playing Super Mario World, drinking sloe gin fizzies, and writing a paper on sexual messages in men's magazines to update my site. Perhaps a photo of yours truly in his classic fall garb will level the field.
Before I head to campus, let me remind you to vote Vividblurry.com as Cybersocket's Best Gay Blog! I'm in the running with GooGabber JuicyGoo, The Corky, and a few other sites that no one reads. May the best man win lose to me!
And for those who guessed "a hotter version of Kevin Federline" as my Halloween costume... You win! Here's a pic of me with Agatha, a slutty bitch who dressed as a slutty witch. Original, Aggy!
Once again I've waited until the last minute
Are you a physical trainer, or do you know someone who is? Can you spare 10 minutes out of your day to be interviewed via instant messenger? If so, then e-mail me IMMEDIATELY. Thank you!!!
Quote o' the Day
"It is unclear just what it means to be male anymore. The physical limits of the body provide a tangible arena of control and purpose."
-Psychology Today, Nov. 1994
Vermouth on the rocks = so best
Everyone is annoying me, and I have no explanation as to why I can't stop reading AndrewSullivan.com or Instapundit.com. Okay, back to the vermouth and I'll return to blogging in a bit.
Morning after
It feels like Sept. 12. This is probably a very stupid comparison but a very obvious one, as well.
This makes me feel better. A little.